l0nl3yb0y:

SKELETON INTESIFIES

Emma Stone + pretending not to like Andrew Garfield

"He DOES NOT make me laugh!"

And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep. If you need to cry I will not wipe your tears away because you are only human and sometimes tears are as close to laughter as you can get and that’s okay. If you get sleepy I will let you drool on my arm and I won’t laugh at you if you snore too loud. If you need to yell so hard that your voice cracks and your knees fail I will hold you up and yell with you. If you get so angry you punch your hands red I will ice your knuckles and tell you that wounds heal both inside and out, and just like the cold that is harsh and burning, I will always be the warmth to soothe you and make you feel better.
Though Mean Girls was rated PG-13 for “sexual content, language, and some teen partying,” that was a rating Paramount had to fight for, says Waters. “We had lots of battles with the ratings board on the movie. There was the line, ‘Amber D’Lessio gave a blow job to a hot dog,’ which eventually became ‘Amber D’Lessio made out with a hot dog.’ Which is somehow weirder! That’s the thing we found: When you’re trying to make a joke obey the rules and not use any bad words, it can actually become seamier, even.” Still, there were some things that Waters simply refused to change. “The line in the sand that I drew was the joke about the wide-set vagina. The ratings board said, ‘We can’t give you a PG-13 unless you cut that line.’ We ended up playing the card that the ratings board was sexist, because Anchorman had just come out, and Ron Burgundy had an erection in one scene, and that was PG-13. We told them, ‘You’re only saying this because it’s a girl, and she’s talking about a part of her anatomy. There’s no sexual context whatsoever, and to say this is restrictive to an audience of girls is demeaning to all women.’ And they eventually had to back down.”
don’t fuck with tina fey (via brokenclocksrighttwiceaday)
the-fandoms-are-cool:

sistercrow:

lokanemandi:

stormcloak:

Clifford the big red dog by *sandara

OH MY GOD

Can we have a Clifford live action movie?  Not a kids movie either. 
Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum.  None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results.  They inject a variety of animals, including a dog.  Nothing.  They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant.  It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter.
To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so.  They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren’t expecting.  There is only one problem.
Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side.  Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet.  They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two.  Unfortunately, the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs.  During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape.  Emily and her dog flee into the wild.  This sets the opening of the movie.
Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert.  She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured.  On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages.  She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process.  The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn’t long before the military arrives in town.
Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search.  She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military.  Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives.  A general (who was her parent’s superior officer) gets out and smirks.  He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford’s mother wasn’t the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection.  The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat.  The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them.  Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack.
What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat.  Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile.  It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid.  They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good. 
The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more.  But the legend of the big red dog has already started.  And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more.
The credits roll.
Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment.  The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air.  The screen flashes brilliant white.  The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day.  The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea.  A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds.  A smaller object rapidly approaches them.  It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them.  Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg.  A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold.
He approaches the two.  His hair is short and somewhat curly.  He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two.
“Emily Elizabeth,” he says over the sound of the crashing surf, “I worked with your parents.  It’s taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident.”
“And who exactly is ‘us’,” she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
Ignoring her question, the man continues.  “Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually.”  He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on.  “I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss.  He’s fairly excited to talk with you.”
“You still haven’t answered my question.  Who are you and who do you work for?”
The man smiles.  “My name is Banner.  And I’m hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”

how long did you even spend writing this for that fucking twist ending because my friend you are one devoted fan

the-fandoms-are-cool:

sistercrow:

lokanemandi:

stormcloak:

Clifford the big red dog by *sandara

OH MY GOD

Can we have a Clifford live action movie?  Not a kids movie either. 

Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum.  None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results.  They inject a variety of animals, including a dog.  Nothing.  They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant.  It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter.

To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so.  They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren’t expecting.  There is only one problem.

Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side.  Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet.  They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two.  Unfortunately, the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs.  During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape.  Emily and her dog flee into the wild.  This sets the opening of the movie.

Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert.  She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured.  On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages.  She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process.  The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn’t long before the military arrives in town.

Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search.  She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military.  Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives.  A general (who was her parent’s superior officer) gets out and smirks.  He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford’s mother wasn’t the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection.  The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat.  The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them.  Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack.

What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat.  Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile.  It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid.  They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good. 

The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more.  But the legend of the big red dog has already started.  And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more.

The credits roll.

Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment.  The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air.  The screen flashes brilliant white.  The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day.  The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea.  A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds.  A smaller object rapidly approaches them.  It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them.  Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg.  A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold.

He approaches the two.  His hair is short and somewhat curly.  He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two.

“Emily Elizabeth,” he says over the sound of the crashing surf, “I worked with your parents.  It’s taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident.

“And who exactly is ‘us’,” she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Ignoring her question, the man continues.  “Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually.”  He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on.  “I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss.  He’s fairly excited to talk with you.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.  Who are you and who do you work for?”

The man smiles.  “My name is Banner.  And I’m hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”

how long did you even spend writing this for that fucking twist ending because my friend you are one devoted fan

crowley-for-king:

crowley-for-king:

steveisoncrack:


HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME
To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home. 
Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks

…I had plans today but now.

Here I go…

Is that a road?
*squint*
No…that’s a glacier.


Yo check out this super neat rock…

Oh good…more glaciers.
Ok, I give up…where am I?

fucking Antarctica?!?

crowley-for-king:

crowley-for-king:

steveisoncrack:

HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME

To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home. 

Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks

…I had plans today but now.

Here I go…

Is that a road?

*squint*

No…that’s a glacier.

Yo check out this super neat rock…

Oh good…more glaciers.

Ok, I give up…where am I?

fucking Antarctica?!?

mentalalchemy:

suixune:

sereneextremist:

A baby LED costume

SEIZE THE PREY AND CONSUME

terrifying

mentalalchemy:

suixune:

sereneextremist:

A baby LED costume

SEIZE THE PREY AND CONSUME

terrifying

Anonymous
asks:
you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?

jimmbbo:

perfect-melodies-filthy-wubs:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

image

*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

i’ve never re-blogged something so quick in my life. 

I fuckin love tumblr stories

mydollyaviana:

Representation isn't an option, it's a necessity.

One of these is not like the others.

troyes-rifle-in-the-front-seat:

theisleoflindentrees:

kellyeden:

sixpenceee:

As a paranormal/horror blogger I can assure you these child abuse ads are the most scariest and saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Probably because things like that are happening RIGHT NOW at this very INSTANT. 

And it’s horrifying but hopefully these ads bring more attention towards it. 

I got these from this buzzfeed article. You can view more ads and the sources for these ads there as well. 

powerful

so important.

The girl in the hands dress just completely fucked me up..